October 5th, 2012

Southern California is searching for 'gas' and stations are closing by the hour; out of gas... However, mom is resting comfortably at Aegis.  Weather conditions have turned in our favor, with daytime highs around 84 and mom stays even more comfortable in her air conditioned/heated room.  The week has not been that easy and many of you have received an email regarding an incident earlier in the week.  I will add a bit of comedy to what started and a real terror threat.

A Terror Threat Averted

It had been a long week already and it was about to get longer with Kathy's help.  Our protagonist rose from a slumber and was dressed around 6:45 on the last hot day; to date, on Wednesday.  As the Aegis staff prepared the other guests, mom took it upon herself to get her morning exercise by walking around the controlled 'memory care unit'.  At around 7:15 an Aegis staff member looking to 'round up' the group for breakfast, noticed that Kathy was unaccounted.  The staff checked her room and then the remaining 20 or so rooms.  An air of confusion and mysticism entered the staff members hearts.  Where could Kathy have gone? 

Meanwhile, Bill, her son, arrived at Harrington Industrial Plastics, his place of employment around 7:30 in the Van Nuys area.   The work day began routinely with Bill shouting orders at his staff and demanding total allegiance or the threat of death to any subverts.  His staff was petrified and hoping he would be called out of the office and get off their asses so they could continue to drink coffee and play video games on one of many of their electronic contraptions.  To their bewilderment their prayers were answered at 8:15 when the phone rang on Bill's I-Phone.

"Good morning Bill, its Carolyni" (or Carolinia or Carolina.. Does anybody have a normal damn name anymore?) from Aegis "and I wanted to let you know that we can't find your mother".  She said it so calmly Bill thought he had done something wrong.  'What", he said.  She reiterated the tail above and told him that two crack, specially trained Aegis associates were searching the sourrounding areas for mom.  Carolina (sp)wanted to know if Bill wanted Aegis to call the police.  Bill responded absolutely.  What if mom was accosted by some Modern Family who would find out how much she is worth, kid-nap her and hold her for a month.  Some backward's ass California Law would then make mom part of their family and then they would become her heirs.  Bill would not hear of this.  "Call the Police" he demanded, "I am on my way".

It was roughly 8:30 when Bill arrived in the area of Aegis.  He decided to stop in the local shopping mall accross the street.  Mom, in the past, had a propensity for going into CVS Pharmacy and having her way with anything she felt she needed.  He searched the store and spoke with the manager and no sign of Kathy.  There is a local high school close to the mall area and high school kids were running, walking, skateboarding and biking in all directions.  Bill could not continue to drive and look for mom with all this pedestrian traffic.  He immediately headed for Aegis after walking all the stores in the strip mall.

LAPD was on the scene.  Four cars and five officers.  All Bill could think of was 'wow' what a slow day at the Devenshire Police Station.  He met with Officer Somebodyoranother, in the lobby at Aegis.  The Officer said they were dispatching a helicopter to assist in the search.  'Really', Bill responded, we better find her fast, and they better not charge us for the helicopter.  How much does a helipcopter cost, Bill digressed.  Holy sh__, I hope Jim some Genentech stock to sell.   Bill walked, actually waddled, down to mom's room and indeed it was empty.  He was assured that all the rooms were checked.
 
One problem, they forgot the check the BATHROOMS.

As the search began, another resident at Aegis had to take a crap or a pee or simply find a quiet place to collect their thoughts.  What a suprise to see our Protagonist sitting on their 'throne' unable to stand up.  We must back up a bit and tell the reader that Kathy had this happen on her own 'crapper' a few months ago and Bill (and Jim) purchased her an elevated toilet assist.  Back then Aegis found her sitting on her 'pot' stating her legs were asleep and she could not stand up.  Back to the story.... This Aegis resident, whose name will remain anonomys for security reasons, alerted staff members and Kathy was assisted off the toilet and led back to her room.

Bill was driving all over Northridge when the phone rang.  It was Aegis and Kathy was safe.... Bill returned to work to harass his associates.